Feeling Lonely at University

Introduction

University is often described as the time of our lives—a place where we meet new people, make friends, and form bonds that last a lifetime. But making friends isn’t always easy. Challenges can arise, and feeling lonely at university is not uncommon.

This page, created by students, researchers, and professionals, is designed to provide you with tailored tips and techniques to help you understand and overcome feelings of loneliness.

Let's Go

Understanding Loneliness

The APA Dictionary of Psychology defines loneliness as an “affective and cognitive discomfort or uneasiness from being or perceiving oneself to be alone” [1]. Simply put, loneliness is the negative feeling that arises when you feel isolated from others. Psychologists often understand it as the sense that you don’t have as many or as close friends as you would like [2].

Research has shown that the experience of loneliness is often characterised by emotions like feeling down or depressed, thought patterns such as selectively interpreting or remembering social situations, and behaviours like actively isolating yourself from others [3]. However, it’s important to note that the experience of loneliness is not uniform across all people [4]. Your experience is valid, whatever form it takes.

Loneliness is often mistakenly confused with social isolation or simply being alone. Research shows that a person can be alone without feeling lonely [5], and loneliness can occur even in the presence of others, including those with whom we have social connections [6]. Psychologists often distinguish between emotional loneliness—the absence of an intimate attachment figure—and social loneliness—the lack of a broad social network or sense of group belonging [7].

Given the isolating nature of loneliness, it’s easy to feel you’re the only one experiencing it [8]. Lonely people often perceive that everyone else has friends, is happy and content in their social connections, and has become perfectly socially integrated [9]. However, most university students are likely to experience loneliness at some point [10; 11], with 1 in 4 reporting feeling lonely most or all of the time [12]. This is important to remember, as many students choose not to speak up about their loneliness out of fear of being judged, even though many others share similar feelings [13].

Why is Loneliness the “Big Bad”?

Feeling lonely is common, especially during transition periods like starting university [14]. For most people, this feeling is temporary [15]. Loneliness can even be adaptive, serving as a signal that encourages you to reconnect and avoid the potential threat of being alone [16]. However, problems arise when loneliness becomes challenging to cope with and turns into a cycle of avoidance. It becomes the “big bad” because it starts affecting everything—academics, physical health, relationships, and mental well-being [17]. Therefore, it’s crucial to acknowledge feelings of loneliness, respond to them with kindness, and work towards changing them.

Many internal and external factors can contribute to feelings of loneliness. Our toolkit includes dedicated pages for students who identify with various communities and intersecting identities.

What Can I Do?

Building a Plan of Action

Here are some ideas for actions that might help. Each step can overlap and build on others, but some parts may stand out as more relevant to your situation. Feel free to try something out and revisit or adjust as needed.

  • This introspective technique is designed to help you better understand your feelings and connect with others who might be experiencing the same emotions. Ask yourself:

    • How do you feel about being alone?

    • What activities do you enjoy in your free time that require individual focus?

    • What activities do you enjoy that involve more than one person?

    • What tasks do you tend to procrastinate on or dislike but need to be done?

    • What steps could you take to reconnect with old friends?

    • How could you reach out and connect with new people?

    • Many students are in the same situation—how could you help others feel less isolated?

  • This exercise helps you map out a support network—people you trust and can rely on when you feel lonely. You can create this mind map digitally using tools like Canva, Miro, or on paper, depending on your preference. Here is an example of what your mind map could look like.

  • Actions speak louder than words. What does self-care mean to you? How do you feel about meeting new people and expanding your support network? Are there activities you enjoy, such as reading, writing, or art? It’s important to invest time in what brings you joy. This could be the perfect opportunity to explore hobbies that have been on your bucket list for a while! Check out our example here, and feel free to use our editable Canva template.

  • Is it possible that you have unrealistically high expectations for the number of friends you should have? Many students feel pressured to believe they should have lots of friends and be out partying all the time, because that’s what they think students are supposed to do. However, when we speak to students, they often tell us that this isn’t what they actually want. So, here’s your invitation to pause and reflect: What do you truly want from your social life? Not what you think a student should have or be doing—what do YOU want? Check out our page on managing expectations for more tips.

  • Sometimes, the social connection you're seeking can be found by reconnecting with your existing network of friends. A walk or a coffee catch-up can be a great way to strengthen those relationships and invest in the connections you already have.

  • Taking the initiative to reach out to people can be challenging. Many students tell us that, unlike in school, friendships at university don’t just form naturally from being around the same people all the time. Building friendships at university often requires active effort. This could mean striking up a conversation with the person sitting next to you in a lecture, inviting a classmate for coffee, cooking dinner with a new flatmate, volunteering, or attending different events and activities. For more tips, check out our page on making friends.

  • Being a good listener, showing genuine interest in what others are saying, asking questions about their interests, and smiling can go a long way in making others feel welcomed. Practice engaging in deeper conversations that go beyond small talk. The energy you put out can make a huge difference in the connections you build.

  • Whether it’s a garden or courtyard on your campus, or a park in the city where you study, spending time in green spaces is associated with reduced feelings of loneliness and increased belonging. Nature can evoke a sense of calm and foster positive emotions [18]. Check out Park Run, Ramblers, or Social Farms and Gardens for free opportunities to meet new people and make the most of your local natural spaces.

And remember... It might not be possible to do all of these things at once. Change doesn’t have to be monumental—small steps count and often lay the foundation for bigger changes down the line. Pace yourself, start with one thing, and see what works for you. Loneliness can be overwhelming, and trying to do too much at once might have the opposite effect.

Ask A Friend

Accustomed to Solitude: Vee, one of our Student Research Assistants, writes about overcoming feelings of loneliness and making friends at uni.   (Read Time: 5 minutes)

Jade shares her experience of moving to London to study at university, highlighting the loneliness that can come without a strong community or support system. Check out her YouTube video titled “Move to London With Me!” (Watch Time: 20 minutes).

Via discusses how not having friends at university can be an opportunity for personal growth and self-discovery. Check out her YouTube video titled “I Have No Friends and Why It’s Okay” (Watch Time: 10 minutes).

Jade offers practical tips for combating loneliness, including journaling, meditation, and engaging in meaningful conversations. Check out her YouTube video titled “To Anyone Feeling Lonely” (Watch Time: 12 minutes).

A student shares their journey of overcoming loneliness at university, offering insights into the strategies that helped them through tough times. Overcoming Loneliness at University | Blog | YoungMinds (Read Time: 3 minutes).

Emily shares her experience of loneliness at university and how she implemented various strategies to cope with feelings of isolation. Student Minds Blog: What People Don’t See: My Experience With Loneliness at University (Read Time: 4 minutes).

Share Your Story: Help fellow students learn from your experiences and feel less alone. Contribute to Student Minds, the UK’s leading student mental health charity, and ensure your voice reaches those who need it most.

What Other Support Is Available?

  • Prepared by the Mental Health Foundation, this 19-page Student Guide to Loneliness covers the following: 

    • Understanding what loneliness is 

    • The impact it can have 

    • Strategies to tackle it 

    • Organisations for additional support 

    • Ways to raise awareness about student loneliness in your community 

  • Shout is the UK's free, confidential, 24/7 mental health text service for crisis support. To access it, text SHOUT to 85258 or visit https://giveusashout.org/

  • This resource from Mind offers practical advice on meeting and connecting with fellow students and targeted strategies for addressing loneliness at university.

  • Gareth Hughes, psychotherapist and researcher, gives advice on overcoming loneliness at university (Read Time: 2 minutes).

  • Staying over at university during holidays can be difficult. Student Space has a series of resources to help you during this period, with articles on staying at university over the break and taking care of yourself during this time.

Explore related topics:

Making Friends
Social Expectations vs Reality

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Check Out Our Sources:

  1. APA Dictionary of Psychology. (2018). APA Dictionary of Psychology. https://dictionary.apa.org/loneliness?s2=P1382021636_1683417608206677824  

  2. Qualter, P., Vanhalst, J., Harris, R., Van Roekel, E., Lodder, G., Bangee, M., Maes, M., & Verhagen, M. (2015). Loneliness Across the Life Span. Perspectives on Psychological Science, 10(2), 250-264. https://doi.org/10.1177/1745691615568999  

  3. Cacioppo, J., Ernst, J., Burleson, M., McClintock, M., Malarkey, W., Hawkley, L., Kowalewski, R., Paulsen, A., Hobson, J., Hugdahl, K., Spiegel, D., & Berntson, G. (2000). Lonely Traits and Concomitant Physiological Processes: The Macarthur Social Neuroscience Studies. International Journal of Psychophysiology, 35(2-3), 143–154. https://doi.org/10.1016/s0167-8760(99)00049-5  

  4. Matthews, T., Fisher, H. L., Bryan, B. T., Danese, A., Moffitt, T. E., Qualter, P., Verity, L., & Arseneault, L. (2022). This Is What Loneliness Looks Like: A Mixed-Methods Study of Loneliness In Adolescence and Young Adulthood. International Journal of Behavioural Development, 46(1), 18–27. https://doi.org/10.1177/0165025420979357  

  5. Russell, A., Bergeman, C., Scott, S. (2012). Daily Social Exchanges and Affect in Middle and Later Adulthood: The Impact of Loneliness and Age. The International Journal of Aging and Human Development, 74(4), 299-329. https://doi.org/10.2190/AG.74.4.c 

  6. Verity, L., Schellekens, T., Adam, T., Sillis, F., Majorano, M., Wigelsworth, M., Qualter, P., Peters, B., Stajniak, S., & Maes, M. (2021). Tell Me About Loneliness: Interviews with Young People about What Loneliness Is and How to Cope with It. International Journal of Environmental Research and Public Health, 18(22), 11904. https://doi.org/10.3390/ijerph182211904 

  7. Weiss, R. (1973). Loneliness: The Experience of Emotional and Social Isolation. The MIT Press 

  8. Verity, L., Schellekens, T., Adam, T., Sillis, F., Majorano, M., Wigelsworth, M., Qualter, P., Peters, B., Stajniak, S., & Maes, M. (2021). Tell Me About Loneliness: Interviews with Young People about What Loneliness Is and How to Cope with It. International Journal of Environmental Research and Public Health, 18(22), 11904. https://doi.org/10.3390/ijerph182211904 

  9. Verity, L., Yang, K., Nowland, R., Shankar, A., Turnbull, M., & Qualter, P. (2022). Loneliness From the Adolescent Perspective: A Qualitative Analysis of Conversations About Loneliness Between Adolescents and Childline Counsellors. Journal of Adolescent Research. https://doi.org/10.1177/07435584221111121 

  10. Akram, U., Irvine, K., Gardani, M., Allen, S., Akram, A., & Stevenson, J. C. (2023). Prevalence Of Anxiety, Depression, Mania, Insomnia, Stress, Suicidal Ideation, Psychotic Experiences, & Loneliness in UK University Students. Scientific Data, 10(1). https://doi.org/10.1038/s41597-023-02520-5 

  11. Akram, U., Drabble, J., Irvine, K., Allen, S., Akram, A., Stevenson, J., & Gardani, M. (2024). Prevalence and psychiatric correlates of loneliness in UK university students. Research Square. https://doi.org/10.21203/rs.3.rs-4360423/v1 

  12. Neves, J. & Stephenson, R. (2023). Student Academic Experience Survey 2023. Higher Education Policy Institute. https://www.hepi.ac.uk/wp-content/uploads/2023/06/Student-Academic-Experience-Survey-2023.pdf  

  13. Gov. (2023). New government research shows “lonely” seems to be the hardest word for students. GOV.UK. https://www.gov.uk/government/news/new-government-research-shows-lonely-seems-to-be-the-hardest-word-for-students#:~:text=As%20students%20prepare%20for%20freshers   

  14. Hutten, E., Jongen, E., Hajema, K., Ruiter, R., Hamers, F., & Bos, A. (2022). Risk factors of loneliness across the life span. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 39(5), 1482-1507. https://doi.org/10.1177/02654075211059193  

  15. Holt-Lunstad, J., Smith, T. B., Baker, M., Harris, T., & Stephenson, D. (2015). Loneliness And Social Isolation as Risk Factors for Mortality: A Meta-Analytic Review. Perspectives On Psychological Science, 10(2), 227–237. https://doi.org/10.1177/1745691614568352  

  16. Hawkley, L. C., & Cacioppo, J. T. (2010). Loneliness Matters: A Theoretical and Empirical Review of Consequences and Mechanisms. Annals Of Behavioural Medicine, 40(2), 218–227. https://doi.org/10.1007/s12160-010-9210-8  

  17. Richardson, T., Elliott, P., & Roberts, R. (2017). Relationship between loneliness and mental health in students. Journal of Public Mental Health, 16(2), 48–54. https://doi.org/10.1108/jpmh-03-2016-0013   

  18. Thompson, C. A., Pownall, M., Harris, R., & Blundell-Birtill, P. (2023). Is The Grass Always Greener? Access To Campus Green Spaces Can Boost Students’ Sense of Belonging. International Journal of Sustainability in Higher Education. https://doi.org/10.1108/ijshe-11-2022-0349